Today, I endured unimaginable pain. My chest felt like a pressure cuff was placed on it, keeping it restricted and excruciating. My joints felt like a KFC leg being pulled apart with a fork, and my muscles felt like an eight-hour work out marathon. The feeling of fear and helplessness doubled by pain made it an experience I wouldn’t wish on my worse enemy.
If it weren’t for Kiva bars, and ibuprofen, I think I would have taken my life a few months back. The pain is constant, every day from the time I wake up, till the time I go to bed. Even while sleeping, I am woken up from spasms, and aches. The pain is relentless, and it has no discrimination, it’s the entire body.
The doctor can’t figure out what is wrong, the specialist is trying to figure it out. And the only fact I can live on, is that I will wake up in the morning, and be in for a day of pain, and management of that pain.
I own a company, I work anywhere from six to fifteen-hour days. Literally every day, I am behind the wheel. And it doesn’t help the situation with it being winter and all.
Cold, crisp, dry air just enhances the pain to a new level. Sometimes, Kiva and the Ibuproferen do not work. And I am forced to shut down part of my shifts, because… to increase the dosage, means I have to stop driving, as it does impair driving at a higher dosage. I refuse to lose my license because my business depends on it.
I watch some of these kids who only have to work four to six hours, who complain, and over the stupidest shit. Like exhaustion, or twinges in their back or legs. They ask to get off early and to have a few days off to recuperate.
Tenacity, ferociousness, stalwartly, robust, spunk, steadfastness, backbone, true grit, what it takes. These are words, concepts, definitions of character that is lost on this generation. I have hired many people who are young, and almost every one of them has been terminated. Not because of my biases, but for their lack of ambition, lack of follow-through, and simply not showing up for work. They think because they have a headache, it’s ok to call in sick. They think because of an issue with a co-worker, they can call in and take a stance with them or our demand.
It’s no secret around me, every morning for the past decade, I have a couple of hours of suicidal contemplations. But every day, I work on and muster through. Because the next day might give me something awesome that is totally worth the wait and the suffering. Like finding the best woman I ever met. Like landing myself a person who is willing to support the company.
So no matter how much you hurt, no matter how sad you are, no matter what kind of situation you are in. If you grit your teeth, pucker up your bunghole, and grunt through the tough times. Life will be just a little grander the next day.