The Last Year. Week 2.

I’ve been using KIVA bars, and taking large doses of ibuprofren. These meds combined have been wreaking havoc on my digestive system, yet the two work together to create a pain killing compound that is non-addictive, and more powerful than opiates.

The downfall to using KIVA on a daily basis, I am starting to build up a tolerance. Which means I have to take more and more. When I up the dosage, from 1 tab to 2 tabs and now 3 tabs, I get a high like feeling but not in a good way.  The pain goes away, then I can barely  keep my eyes open. Sleep takes over and rest is spotty.

I was also diagnosed with Mononucleosis this past friday, that’s what Get for having a fling with a woman, 8 years celibate, and the first one I lay with, gives me mono, because apparently she likes to sleep around.

So on top of the pain, I have to deal with chronic fatigue. And for mono to go away, one needs  a lot of rest, and rest doesn’t come easy when there is a constant unrelenting flow of pain in the shoulders, knees and muscles.

I know that I’m getting old, but..

Do we have to drop dead like an old ford car? Run till we clonker out to a sputtering death? What a shitty way to experience an end game…

I made a promise to myself. When I become wheelchair bound, and before I lose complete use of my hands and arms. I’m eating lead.

I will not die with my dignity shredded!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *